Show up

“The world is run by those who show up.” 

~ Donald Rumsfeld

Kids Hope USA is a mentoring program that partners one church with one school in one community.  For one hour each week, one volunteer is assigned to one elementary school child as a mentor.  The hour is spent doing icebreakers, playing games, reinforcing academics and engaged in the child's chosen activity.  Richard* was my mentee.

Richard didn't want to speak about much of his life: parents; reading level; nutrition; mental health.  Each week we would start our hour together with a game of catch.  Tennis ball, empty hallway, your turn, my turn.  No words, just catch.

His first words were different each week but most of the time Richard would speak first.  "Can you throw it higher?  How about a bounce pass?"  Once he spoke, we could get into the rest of the planned activities.  If there were no words, often it was because Rich didn't want to talk about his life.

A key to mentoring is showing up.  Scheduling and fatigue can keep a mentor from showing up.  Transportation and truancy block a mentee from showing up.  When we're able to pull off an hour together each week, momentum is built.    Following through, showing up, may be the only thing some Kids Hope mentees can depend on that week.

After playing catch one day, Rich saw that I was down.  Life got to me before I got to the school that day.  "What's the matter Rev. Pickens?"  I smiled quietly without answering his question.  By that time in our relationship, I could read Rich but he could read me too.  Instead of answering, I began pulling out the icebreakers and games but he stopped me. 

"Here, take this Rev. Pickens."  He slid a business card across the table.

"What is this, Rich?"

"It's my therapist's card.  When I'm sad, I talk to her.  You look like you need to talk to her."

I laughed and sniffled a tear back.  He was right.  I didn't want to speak about much of my day: career, traffic, disappointments.  Rich showed up to play catch, pay attention and offer help.  While following through on another ministry assignment, I recognized the therapist's name and told her of Rich's offer.  She pursed her lips in thought about all of Rich's challenges before smiling softly. "He's a sweet child amidst difficulties."

He was assigned a mentor because of difficulties.  I was supposed to show up and help.  Maybe games of catch, flashcards or snacks and drinks helped.  Maybe an introduction to golf and footraces helped.  Maybe.  What surely did help was the day Rich showed up.

He overcame transportation issues and truancy's temptation to come to our mentoring session.  He followed the familiar outline of our hour because he knew the comfort familiarity would be for both of us.  He read me a story even though he didn't like to read.  He didn't press for details, the way he taught me not to press for details of his complexities.  He showed up to be mentored but he also showed up for his mentor.

Rich's ministry, so many years ago, speaks to us.  You may be laughing to keep from crying.  Talking about your finances, regrets and family might not be easy.  If there is a lesson Rich teaches, it is to show up.

Show up punctually, in service to another. Bring snacks, have a plan and do your best.  Read a book or article to make you better when you show up.  Smile.  Listen more than you speak and give without expectation of receiving.  Innovate, remembering that everything you try will not work.  Get a good night's sleep the day before and dress the part.  Give your best and when it's time to go, leave them wanting more.

Show up, the way Rich showed up, because the world is run by those who show up.

* Not actual name